Thanks to Clave for the awesome drawing.

Groove,

I know you’re going to immediately hate on me and sell me out in regards to this for a variety of reasons, but I bought a hat today.  I’m giving this baseball thing a chance again, I was totally hyped following the first 3 games of the season.  I’m coming back to my old team, the team that I loved with all my heart when I was a kid, the team from which I had every baseball card of every player, the team I saw in person in the 1999 NL playoffs, the team that broke my heart that year….and the strike soon after ruined any love I had left of the game.

That team is the Pittsburgh Pirates.  I know this must come as a shock to you Groove, after we’ve spent so many years pirate-bashing in our pro-ninja stance.  After we looked down our noses at those filthy pirates and their filthy pirate lifestyle.  Much like a hypocritical GOP member being outed for doing things he voted staunchly against, there is part of me that identifies with that which I have hated on for so many years (Just to be clear, I’m only talking about ninja’s vs pirates here).  I am still a ninja, through and through, but I was a pirates fan first, and if I’m gonna give this baseball thing a shot, I’ve got to have something to grab on to.

I was a baseball fan before I was a fan of any other sport, and it was something that consumed me at a formative age.  Leaving it was like a bad break up, and perhaps this is me walking back into more heartache (particularly considering the 19 year losing record), but I’m giving it another go.  Side note: my favorite player was Barry Bonds, back when he was a Pirate AND had a normal sized head…imagine how much THAT hurt to see unfold over the years.

I’ve already learned the names of three players on the current roster, and I’m getting the 20 dollar internet radio thing so I can follow the games.

So now I’ve got this hat and I have no fucking clue how much of a bend in the bill is appropriate for a 30something man with steadily dropping hipness.

Anyway, I think now is the time for you to choose a team Groove, and participate in this hype.  I would encourage you to choose a National League team because:

1. The American League’s designated hitter rule is a crime against humanity

2. Being a National League fan lessens the need to endure nearly as much bullshit from the BoSux/Yankees fans

3. Between Miss’s Dodgers, Citycynic’s Mets, and my Pirates, if you picked a NL team we’d have many more opportunities to talk shit to each other amongst our little group, of course Maria is a Yankees fan, so that throws it off a bit.

4. NL teams have the coolest logos and uniforms.

5. It is the right thing to do.

Summer is coming, the NBA is ending, and we’re going to be seeing baseball on sport center all summer, so we may as well join in.

Lates
jHo